Circle of Security Parenting Series 2
Caleb Scoville, MS, LPC
“My advice to parents is not to miss an opportunity to show affection to their babies”
-Mary Ainsworth
“There is no such thing as a baby, there is only a baby and someone”
-Donald Winnicott, M.D.
(Developmental psychologists and attachment experts)
Research from the American Academy of Pediatrics shows that caring relationships and positive parenting build resilience and strength in our children and us. Research also demonstrates that conclusions learned early in life tend to replicate themselves. Thus, how our parents interacted with us, in our very first relationship, tends to be how we will be with our children and others. As an ancient quote tells us, “we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are”
At times, all parents feel lost or without a clue about what our children might need from us. Imagine what it might be life if you were able to make sense of what your child was really asking from you. With the Circle of Security Parenting (COS-P) program this is possible. COS-P is based on decades of research about how secure parent-child relationships can be supported and strengthened.
A few of the many benefits of a secure attachment between parents and children include feeling less anger at parents, turning to parents when in trouble and children solving problems on their own. We also see many physical health benefits to a secure attachment as the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study shows us. The ACE study links early negative experiences to health, relationships and how we parent (for more information see references below).
In the Circle of Security Parenting Series caregivers learn a path of secure attachment focusing on children’s needs and caregiver’s state of mind rather than focusing on children’s behaviors.
“Bigger, stronger, wiser, and kind”—a parenting style with a high level of the caregiver being “in charge” matched with a high level of caregiver warmth and affection. This is at the heart of a secure attachment. Children from these families tend to be more mature, independent and academically successful. Recognition that we have a parent who can be counted on to lovingly provide tenderness, comfort, firm guidance and protection during inevitable difficulties. Honestly, all of us have this need some of the time, regardless of our age. “Bigger, stronger, wiser, and kind” becomes a central parenting focus/goal (repeated often) within the COS protocol.
In the Circle of Security approach, participants learn the importance of being with and organizing their children’s feelings. Lessons parents learn in the COS protocol can be modeled via parenting styles and will go with a child throughout their life.
For more information on the Circle of Security curriculum and how to get involved please contact Caleb at Transforming Life Counseling Center for more information.
References:
https://www.aap.org/en-us/Pages/ Default .aspx
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/about.html
https://www.circleofsecurityinternational.com/
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/Pages/default.aspx
Author: Caleb Scoville, MA, LPC, is a clinical member at Transforming Life Counseling Center.
