Coping with Grief and Chronic Illness During the Holidays

The holiday season is a magical time of year for many because of the connections, special foods, giving and receiving, and many other reasons.  Those things do not come naturally however and stress during this season is also very common. The holiday season can be especially challenging time for those dealing with grief or chronic illness. For all of us, the holiday season comes with changes in familiar routines including increased activities, lots of interactions with family and friends, and the demand for more emotional and cognitive reserves which can be exhausting for us all.  While the festivities and traditions are meant to bring joy, the added stress and emotional strain can exacerbate feelings of loss, pain, and isolation.

For those grieving the loss of a loved one, the holidays serve as a painful reminder of their absence. Family gatherings and celebrations may feel empty without the presence of the departed. It's important to allow yourself to feel and express your grief, whether through tears, reminiscing, or quietly reflecting. Don't be afraid to ask loved ones for support and to set boundaries if certain traditions feel too difficult.

Those living with chronic illness also face unique obstacles over the holidays. The increased demands on your time and energy, from shopping and decorating to attending parties and family events, can quickly become overwhelming. Prioritize self-care by pacing yourself, delegating tasks, and saying no when needed. Build in plenty of rest breaks and don't hesitate to modify or opt out of activities. Saying “I just need a day to rest.” Self-care with good intent, is not selfish. 

Whether you're grieving or managing a chronic condition, be mindful of your emotional and physical needs. Seek out healthy coping strategies like journaling, meditation, or support groups. If feelings of depression, anxiety or isolation become unmanageable, don't be afraid to reach out to a mental health professional.

It's also important to cultivate moments of joy and connection, even amidst the challenges. Try to focus on the traditions and activities that truly uplift you, whether it's baking cookies with your kids (or for yourself!), driving around to admire holiday lights, or spending quality time with a close friend. Remember to slow down, focus on connections not “perfection” with special people in your life. Celebrate small victories and find meaning in the things you can and chose to do. 

Please remember that you're not alone, many others are navigating similar struggles during this time of year. So be gentle with yourself, accept help when offered, and do not hesitate to modify or create new traditions that better suit your needs. With self-compassion and support, it is possible to find pockets of peace and light, even in the darkest of seasons.

This article was written by Caleb Scoville, LPC-S. Caleb Scoville is both a clinical member of our TLCC team and co-owner of Transforming Life Counseling Center.