Getting Through the Next Phase
May 18, 2020
by Kristen Callaway, LMFT
It’s simply mindboggling how much life has changed in the last 90 days since COVID-19 was given a name (1). The world became aware of an international health pandemic, our country went into a period of social distancing and quarantine, and now states are beginning to open back up. We wave to each other from a window, it’s expected to see people in masks and gloves, and we look for markings on the store floors to indicate a distance of 6 feet. Schooling, religious gatherings, employment – it has all changed drastically.
Resilience is a term we hear quite often; it can be defined as “an ability to recover or adjust to difficult situations or change.” There is no doubt about it, humans are resilient. You can see in the news, beyond all the press briefings and medical updates, stories of people coming together to support and encourage one another. And yet, the soul grows weary having to constantly recover and adjust – especially in isolation. I’ve certainly grown tired of staying in my house, I’m sure others have too. So how do we get through this next phase of society reopening while maintaining our strength and patience?
- Show kindness – to yourself and to others. For some, this period of quarantine has been a way to slow down, reconnect with family, and gain clarity about priorities. For others, this has been a time of significant stress – perhaps due to finances, difficult relationships at home, living alone, work changes. While we as a society have collectively gone through this pandemic together, we have all had our own unique experiences. Whatever the past few months have been like for you, it’s okay – especially if it’s been difficult. Most of us never planned to live through a quarantine and had no idea what to expect. We are also going to have our own experiences with the reopening and that’s fine too. Keep in mind, someone else having a different experience does not invalidate yours. Don’t beat yourself up with how things “should” have been. Take a deep breath, accept what is, and know that this is temporary.
- Maintain appropriate expectations. I’ve had some people tell me about their frustrations that they have more downtime, but they haven’t been able to go after a lofty goal (exercise, dietary, new hobby, etc). I’ve also had others talk about more being added to their plate (working from home, attempting a version of homeschooling, etc) and they can’t keep up with the never-ending laundry and dishes and yardwork. Whether you fit with one of those situations or are somewhere in between, now is not the time to beat yourself up. We have to redefine what normal looks like, and that includes our expectations for ourselves. I’m not saying you should just give up on any and all responsibilities and goals, but make sure you are being realistic about what you can accomplish and what your priorities are. As time goes on and we continue to recover and adjust, we can add more to what we expect of ourselves.
- Focus on what you can control. It’s common that when life feels chaotic, we grip tightly to what we feel we can control. Life becomes overwhelming when we try to control things we actually can’t. We are only responsible for our thoughts, feelings, actions, worldviews, etc. Oklahomans have a significant advantage here; we know that come tornado season, all we can do is be prepared and act responsibly. We have no ability to influence where a tornado goes. It is no different with a health pandemic. Take the health precautions you consider to be reasonable, decide what kind of social interaction/distance is best for you and your family, and respect that others may make different decisions. Remember, you also control who you spend your time with so don’t push yourself to interact with those whose decisions may make you uncomfortable.
A few other tips: limit how much news you consume, keep in contact with friends and family (technology can be a blessing here), get some fresh air and sunshine as often as you can, and if you’re struggling – seek counseling. Many therapists are offering telehealth along with in-person sessions. Remember - just as we have recovered and adjusted from natural and manmade disasters, we will also recover and adjust from the COVID-19 pandemic.
(1) Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) - events as they happen. (n.d.).
Retrieved from https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/events-as-they-happen
Kristen Callaway, LMFT, is a Staff Clinician at Transforming Life Counseling Center.
2025 has been another year filled with joy, growth, and meaningful service as Transforming Life Counseling Center continues its mission to support the mental health needs of our community. With a dedicated team of 19 therapists, TLCC is honored to walk alongside individuals and families facing a wide variety of challenges. We count it a true blessing to be trusted with your care and to play a role in strengthening the well-being of our community. As we reflect on this year, our hearts are full of gratitude—for your support, your courage, and the opportunity to make a difference together. From all of us at TLCC, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a joyful, peaceful holiday season. May the coming year bring hope, healing, and continued connection.
We want to extend our heartfelt congratulations to one of our esteemed therapists, Caleb Scoville, MS, LPC . On Thursday, November 13th, the Hough Ear Institute (HEI) held its annual Awards Gala, where Caleb was honored with the Elevate Award for his outstanding collaboration with HEI and his dedicated facilitation of the Tinnitus Support Group over the past two years. Transforming Life Counseling Center is grateful for our continued partnership with the Hough Ear Institute. We are honored to provide a home for the Tinnitus Support Group throughout 2025 and look forward to supporting this meaningful work in the coming year. The group offers both in-person and virtual options, expanding access to individuals across the country. TLCC sincerely thanks the Hough Ear Institute—not only have we been privileged to help facilitate this group, but we have also been deeply blessed by the connections formed and the resilience of the individuals we have met through it. The Hough Ear Institute , located in Oklahoma City, is responsible for groundbreaking research, education, and humanitarian efforts in the field of hearing and overall wellness. Our metro community is truly fortunate to have such innovative and life-changing work happening right here at home. One key area of HEI’s research is the management and treatment of tinnitus. Individuals living with tinnitus often experience cognitive, emotional, and behavioral challenges, including persistent ringing or buzzing in one or both ears. These symptoms can lead to significant distress, anxiety, and depression, especially when combined with life stressors, underlying medical conditions, or repeated exposure to loud noise. For the past two years, HEI has hosted a Tinnitus Support Group, providing a compassionate space for those affected to gather, share experiences, and uplift one another. We are honored to continue supporting this vital resource. For more information—or to donate to this worthy and life-changing cause—please visit Hough Ear Institute . To join or share details about the Tinnitus Support Group, visit Tinnitus Support Group or call (405) 246-5433 for more information.
By Corey DeGiacomo, LMFT-Candidate
By Kevin Tutty, LPC If you have children, you know how easy it is to find Christmas centered around your kids. When I was single, I wondered why everyone became so busy this time of year. In a self-indulged world, marketing is designed to focus us on ourselves: It can be hard to focus on others. It wasn’t until I had a family that saw just how busy this time of year is! The Holidays are also a time of year when depression rises. I heard a pastor once say if you don’t want to feel a certain way, do something to take your mind off of how you are feeling. One great way to do this is to look for opportunities to help someone in need. For example, if you feel isolated, volunteer at a church, food bank, or other entity that helps others. This time of year is an excellent time to volunteer, as there is a greater need for volunteers in the non-profits that serve the people in our community. It is also a great way for a family to engage in a fun activity together, while helping those in need. I am convinced that once “the volunteer bug” gets someone, they will not need a reason to help others, as they will want to find opportunities to do that. This happened to me on a mission trip once and I wanted to return to the mission field the next chance I had to go. We are blessed by giving to others. When giving to those in need there is a distinction between two easily misinterpreted terms: sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is more self-focused: We get this feeling when we “feel” badly for someone in a difficult situation. On the other hand, we feel empathy when we are able to put ourselves in another’s place and see things from their perspective. When we empathize with another, our efforts are focused on the other person. The other person is validated because we are looking at things from their point of view, and understand their person’s situation or perspective. Volunteering is a great way to develop empathy, especially for those who are focused on their own wants and desires. Back to volunteering though, be prepared to get some resistance initially when proposing the idea of volunteering, especially if your kids are not used to it. Once you go, try to make it as fun as possible, scheduling a fun activity the family can engage in together along with the volunteer effort. Then, process the volunteer effort over dinner and see what other types of volunteering would be of interest to them next. There are a number of local agencies that would be good opportunities to volunteer. Here are just a few to get started: Regional Food Bank (12 and older): 405-972-11111 EARC Thrift Store (Downtown Edmond): 405-285-7658 (South Edmond): 405-348-6502 Hope Center (Edmond): 405-348-4680 Local churches can connect you to volunteer opportunities The City Rescue Mission in Downtown Oklahoma City (405-232-2709) offers groups a great opportunity to get a tour of the facility as well as serving the homeless. The Christmas and Holiday Season is such a fun time, with many activities and opportunities to serve others. We are truly more blessed when we are serving others! Kevin Tutty is a Licensed Practical Counselor and a clinical member at Transforming Life Counseling Center.
By Caleb Scoville, LPC
Transforming Life Counseling Center is pleased to continue to expand our team of quality therapists with the addition of a new team member. We welcome our newest member: Necco Gill, Licensed Professional Counselor. This therapist supports TLCC in continuing to support the vast counseling needs of our community and brings new areas of training. For more information on her expertise and training, you can find her bio below and on our website. In addition to our licensed staff, TLCC also has pre-licensed candidates who receive supervision by our therapists and can offer lower fees in an effort to support clients needing therapy at a lower cost. For more information about our therapists, insurances we take and fees, our phone number is (405) 246-5433 Necco Gill, LPC