It’s Only an Illusion
May 17, 2020
by Kevin Tutty, LPC
Remember watching David Copperfield on TV when he made the Statue of Liberty disappear and reappear? I thought it had to be a camera trick. Or was it? Control can be like that in our lives. We think we are in control of things when we really aren’t.
My old pastor used to say, “Control is an illusion.” We think we can control events and circumstances when we are actually in control of very little. We are in control of our actions, and feelings and most of the time, our thoughts. When we try to control events outside of these areas, we will eventually be unable to control.
In these times of social-distancing, many try to control things they are not able to control. I read an article that said that the reason people rushed out to buy toilet paper – many rolls of it at a time – was that it give them a sense of control over their life, reducing anxiety. The other factor is that when people saw others buying toilet paper, they thought they better get some too. Soon there wasn’t enough for those not buying large quantities. Then, there wasn’t enough toilet paper in the store, leading to arguments and fights that people would have never have been involved in with another situation. Once the “flight or fight” response part of our brains kicked in, the rational part of the brain has no chance.
Recognizing what we are in control of is an important step to reducing anxiety. If we can look at situations that we are not in control of (like other people’s actions) we are more likely to remain calm in tense situations. This recognition has to be made before the anxiety-producing situation though, so we are prepared for it.
The more we try to gain control of situations not in our control, the more problems we have in our and other’s lives. Trying to control other’s actions is futile, and if left unchecked, can lead to anxiety disorders. This can strain relationships, especially with the people we live with. Releasing that control actually gives us freedom to live better, happier lives. The fear of not having control drives us to make irrational decisions we wouldn’t normally make.
So, what do we do? Releasing control isn’t easy when we are used to trying to control situations, events or other people’s actions. As simple as it sounds, taking 5 slow, deep breaths is a great way to get “control” of your own actions in the moment. Finding an enjoyable hobby (while reducing screen time) is a great way to distract ourselves when able. Exercise of any kind has great benefits to reduce not only anxiety, but depression as well (even more than medicine!). Soon, you will find that things that used to cause you worry or fear don’t create as much distress as they once did.
Kevin Tutty, LPC, is a Staff Clinician at Transforming LIfe Counseling Center
Kevin Tutty, LPC, is a Staff Clinician at Transforming LIfe Counseling Center
“Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you from Transforming Life Counseling Center. May your Holidays and New Year be blessed!”
By Victoria Scoville, LCSW, IMH-E®
By Cindy Rose, M.A., LPC-C
By Caleb Scoville, LPC-S
by Michelle Garrett, MS, LMFT
TLCC often has the pleasure of offering training and CEUs to its staff members and extends these opportunities to those in the counseling community. During our last quarter, TLCC heard from a variety of treatment centers and professionals on mental health topics that expanded our team’s knowledge of resources to better serve our community. Stages of Recovery provided information regarding outpatient Drug and Alcohol Rehab in Oklahoma and Texas. Next Level Senior Advisors provided information about the work they do in helping senior adults and their families find the right fit for their loved ones in assisted living. Live Better at Home shared information about senior home care services they offer in the OKC metro area. Please see an overview of each, to determine if you, or someone you know, might benefit from their services and/or the information they provided. Stages of Recovery TLCC wants to thank Linda Morgan for coming to speak with TLCC therapists to tell us more about Stages of Recovery and the great work they do in OKC and Texas. Stages of Recovery is an outpatient dual-diagnosis drug and alcohol rehab, meaning they treat both addiction and any co-occurring mental health conditions. Stages uses a comprehensive model combining psychiatric, behavioral and holistic therapies. For more information, please see the link above. Live Better At Home TLCC wants to thank Jeremy Allen CEO and Kelly Garrett from Live Better at Home for speaking with TLCC staff about the great work they do in the OKC metro area. LiveBetter at Home provides professional home care services tailored to support seniors and individuals needing assistance in the Greater Oklahoma City area. Our services are designed to enhance independence and quality of life while maintaining the comfort and familiarity of home. Our key offerings of personal care, respite care, and virtual care, provide assistance with daily activities such as meal preparation, medication reminders, personal hygiene, light housekeeping, transportation and companionship. For more information, please see the link above. Next Level Senior Advisors TLCC wants to thank Matt Wilson, CEO and Sara Cook, RN from Next Level Senior Advisors for taking the time to speak to TLCC therapists and provide information regarding the great work they do in multiple states. Next Level Senior Advisors is a dedicated Senior referral and placement agency, that specializes in helping families navigate the complexities and transition into Senior Living. They offer personalized consultations; access to a wide network of senior living facilities offering different levels of care, expert advice and guidance through this process, and ongoing support and advocacy. For more information, please see the link above. We want to say a big thank you and Happy Holidays to all our presenters!